There’s been a lot of life happening and some words that aren’t meant for sharing yet. That’s always been a tricky thing for me, when to share and when to sit with all that is going on. It takes a fair amount of calmness to be okay in the midst of things. I want to be more graceful about it and as with anything it takes practice. Being calm doesn’t mean you don’t feel everything. It’s not about denial or pretending. It’s more about being intentional with what you do feel and where you decide to put it. I find it maddening and beautiful all at once.
I have been listening with sharper ears. People tell you things all the time while they say something else. Communication is a wicked smart art form. I am also reminding myself to loosen my grip on expectations. Instead of thinking of how I want things to be, I am learning to focus more on how I want to be. The only person I can choose for is myself. That is more than enough.
I keep thinking about the word grow. What it means. Where to find it. What it looks like. Who does it. How to do it.
In the meantime, I am trudging along at being present right here. Soaking in the blessedly somewhat cooler weather. Smiling every time I see a pumpkin. Feeling thankful for our new nephew. Celebrating Garrett’s birthday. Celebrating 14 years of Bdog. Trying new little things. Having surprisingly authentic conversations with people while grocery shopping. Splurging on fancier laundry detergent because it smells so. so. good. And green tea, oh my, I am obsessed.